Epic Pun Battle of Fanfiction
by TalkingSalad12
Summary: In a battle of puns and rhymes, Yang and Sans finally go head to head. one-shot
1. Chapter 1

Epic Pun Battle of Fanfiction

Yang Xiao Long vs Sans the Skeleton

Begin!

Yang: Hey there Sans, I got a bone to pick with you. Although tibia honest, I have better things to do.

You stalk a kid through the underground, you pig out on hot dogs, and spend the rest of your time making knock-knock jokes or playing the trombone. And that's only if you're not taking a nap, Mr. lazybones?

Or at least try to play music. In your defense you have no ears. But if someone's around they'll run away in fear.

I'm gonna win this battle, so go hide under your mat. Your puns are like your music, it's b-flat.

Sans: I thought you were a brawler, but your puns have no punch. How about I get some ketchup and eat them for lunch.

Or should I get Adam Taurus, he definitely knows how to disarm. Or should we talk about Blake will that cause more harm?

After you saved her life, she didn't even stick around to give you a hand. Instead she jumped on a boat to a different land.

Besides she ain't into you, It's Sun she's looks smitten see? If you think you'll get together, you've got to be kitten me.

Yang: If you think you can rattle my bones, well sorry bub. I'm going to light this battle up like Junior's club.

Give me your best shot, it just adds to my strength. To win this fight I'll go to any length.

Where I come from we use dead monster as gas. Would you like to buy some dust? Go ahead, it will be your last.

Not to mention you suck as an older sibling, I hate to cause dread. But once upon a timeline Papyrus lost his head.

Now turn around and go back under your rock, cause your puns are crappy. Or I'll be just like what I did to Tifa's neck, I'll get snappy.

Sans: You're right I don't got ears, but it doesn't help. I still hear your puns, and all I can say is; Whelp…

Run away little girl, you might be a dragon. But I doubt even you can survive a Gastor cannon.

And don't pretend you got the gold as a big sibling, here comes the twister. You sat in bed sulking, but where was your baby sister?

She went to save the world while you sat there skulking. Her silver eyes, determined, her backpack bulking.

Your mom abandoned you to play bandit, those thugs she herder. When you finally learned the truth I bet it was murder.

She was scared of the monster, didn't even try to get a blade in. I guess being a huntress was not what she was maiden.

Don't brag about Tifa, her defeat was a promotional cost. If it was real, you'd be just like this battle babe, you lost!

Who won, who lost?


	2. Chapter 2

**Papyrus and Ruby: Please?**

 **TalkingSalad12: No**

 **Papyrus and Ruby: Please?**

 **TalkingSalad12: No**

 **Papyrus and Ruby: Please?**

 **TalkingSalad12: No**

 **Papyrus and Ruby: Please?**

 **TalkingSalad12: No! I'm not going to add another chapter just because you keep saying-**

 **Papyrus and Ruby: Please?  
Talking Salad12: NO!**

 **Ruby: But everyone keeps saying Sans won. I admit Yang's puns are terrible, but Sans is worse. He just makes puns about bones.**

 **Papyrus: AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS MUST DEFEND MY BROTHER'S TITLE. SINCE HE IS TO LAZY TO DO IT HIMSELF**

 **TalkingSalad12: You want me to add another chapter to Epic Pun Battle of Fanfiction. But you two aren't the punners of the family Yang and Sans are. And the public has spoken… Although I still think in these type of things the winner is the one with the last verse…**

 **Ruby: Exactly! I need to restore Yang's honor as the best punner!**

 **Papyrus: AND I MUST DEFEND MY BROTHERS TITLE…**

 **TalkingSalad12: For the last time I'm not…**

 **Suddenly behind the curtain behind TalkingSalad12 two figures were revealed, one had glowing long blond hair, the other had a glowing blue left eye.**

 **TalkingSalad12: *Sigh*… Fine.**

 **Ruby and Papyrus celebrate.**

 **Later TalkingSalad12 types this message to her fans: Yang and Sans are forcing me to write another chapter starring their younger siblings, SEND HELP!**


	3. Chapter 3

Epic Pun Battle of Fanfiction

Ruby Rose vs Papyrus

Begin!

Papyrus: I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL BEGIN THIS WITH A BANG. NOT AN EXPLOSION OR A BOMB, NOT EVEN A YANG!

A TINY HUMAN GIRL WHO WAS DOOMED BEFORE SHE WAS EVEN BORN. OVER COMPENSATING WITH HER WEAPON, A ROSE WITHOUT THORNS.

A FUTURE HUNTRESS? PLEASE? I'M A FUTURE ROYAL GUARD. MY SPECIAL ATTACK WILL END YOU HARD.

THIS WILL BE YOUR FINAL SUSPENSION. I WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH MY UNDYNE ATTENTION.

Ruby: Step aside Papyrus, here comes the jewel of the show. Don't diss me, my silver eyes will take you down in one blow.

My scythe can cut through more than logs. I'll take your special attack and feed it to my dog.

Your stupid dream of being a royal guard, is that really what you want? Papyrus you aren't made for battle, check the font.

Let's rewind to my big sis's diss. 'Once upon a timeline, Papyrus lost his head.' All it took was for a little kid to make you dead.

So, don't make fun of my size. Small packages have more fun. And with my sweetheart you'll lose than your head when I'm done.

Papyrus: PRETENDING TO BE A HERO, WELL THAT'S JUST A BUMMER. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW A HERO? OH YEAH IT WAS LAST SUMMER.

YOU AIN'T HALF THE HERO YOUR MOM WAS, YOUR BIG SIS, YOU NEED HER. YOU AIN'T NO HUNTRESS, NOT A HERO, NOT A LEADER.

DESPITE YOUR SILVER EYES, YOU DON'T HAVE A DEFENSE AGAINST MY MAGIC. THIS BATTLE WILL BE LIKE PYRRHA'S FATE, JUST PLAIN TRAGIC.

AND THAT'S ONLY JUST ONE FAILURE OF MANY. AFTER ALL THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR KINGDOM ONLY COST ONE PENNY!

Ruby: You're not the big bad, not even a mid-boss. You're the starter villain, so wet you're growing moss.

You don't know what human looks like, your laugh is noise pollution. With my death scythe, I bring for your puzzles the permanent solution.

I kill monsters for a living, I catch bad guys for fun. And do I need to remind you my weapon's also a gun?

I need to train, I need to shake off this rust. Now run along Papyrus, before I turn you into dust!

Even if you trained with Undyne for a million years you'll never be ready. Now go home, eat your nasty spaghetti.

Who won, who lost?


End file.
